“We need to talk about this differently,” I said. “We both feel so emotionally exhausted from the last year that we see everything dark and despairing.”

I’d taken Erin out for coffee, specifically to have this conversation.

“What do you suggest?” she asked.

“We need to take a different perspective, and realise what actually went on,” I said. “The upshot is that we were brave and courageous, and even though it was hard, we stuck to our guns. And things changed!”

She nodded.

“So, let’s not tell everyone that it was a dismal failure, because that’s just now how it all went down.”

It’s the one time in my life that I remember intentionally reframing a memory.

I’ve written about the concept of reframing memories, and described the four ugly frames. The task at hand, now, is to outline four frames that bring hope and meaning.

Inside the Silver Frame, you notice people who have good intentions. They show bravery and courage. They want to do what is right and they stand for truth. If you live with a silver frame, you see the best in people. You are drawn to stories of heroes. If you reframe a traumatic memory with a silver frame, you ask, “But who was honest? Who did what was right? Who showed courage?” The good bit about the silver frame is that even though events happened a long time ago, it is still possible to get closure on the memory by acting with courage and bravery now when you did not before.

Inside the Light Blue Frame, you notice things that are fun or funny. The world is a quirky place. People do unexpected things that make you laugh. There are small details that other peole miss that are just the ‘icing on the cake.’ You also notice beauty, sometimes in the most unexpected places. I’m reminded of a Farside cartoon by Gary Larsen where an army is storming a castle and one of the soldiers is pointing down to the moat yelling, “Goldfish! Look, Goldfish!”

Here are another two frames which are very powerful. If you aren’t a Christian, these may not make sense. (As you can also see if you match the artwork, to the paragraphs AI couldn’t quite make sense of them either!)

Inside the White and Gold Frame, you see that on earth, there is a massive war between good and evil, between truth and lies, right and wrong, sense and nonsense, and that God will win in the end! God is powerful and good, loving and kind, and that despite how horrible things get, God can take any situation and use it as aw material to build His eternity with. As the poet has said, “He gave me beauty for ashes.” He can give meaning to the most meaningless moment, and hope to the most hopeless moment. It’s worth adding here that God can’t take “religion” and “religious actions” as raw material for eternity. These are useless to him. (Strange, hey?)

Inside the Purple Frame, you see that because you have become a follower of Jesus, you have been reborn as his sibling, into the royal family. This necessitates a journey to spiritual maturity, and spiritual maturity means hardship and training. With this frame, you notice that many things that are good are also difficult, and that Jesus is often taking you through difficult experience for your own growth and benefit. It means that mistakes are part of the journey and can be learned from, and sometimes humility and apology is appropriate.