I’ve been thinking lately about ‘reframing memories.’ (You can read an earlier post here.)

My thoughts come from the idea that the colour of a frame will often hilight details of a similar colour inside an artwork. For example, a red frame will draw the viewer’s attention to the red elements and details the painter has included. Changing the colour of the frame will draw the viewer’s attention to other elements.

Our memories are like paintings. A scary, traumatic memory will be themed with a lot of red and we will put a red frame around it. If we have a few scary paintings, we tend to frame every memory in the same scary red, so that when we look back on our life, we see trauma and horror in everything. In fact, it seems to me that we also tend to frame present experience in red.

But I’ve been thinking about the concept of memoir, that it’s possible to reframe memories, so that they make more sense.

So here are the first four frame colours, and I’ve got to warn you that none of them are nice.

Red frames draw attention to the injustice of how you were treated, to the horrible things that happened to you. Inside a red frame you notice monsters and everything that is wrong with the world. Everything is a fight.

Black frames draw attention to despair and fear, to meaningless, neverending darkness. Nothing will ever change. Your destiny is set. Inside a black frame it’s hard work just getting yourself out of bed every morning. You notice your own funk. You talk about yourself and your injuries.

Poison green frames draw attention to the way that everybody else had an easy life they didn’t deserve and your life was hard. “They got a good home. They had money. They landed on their feet, but I lost! Nothing ever worked out for me!” Inside the poison green frame you notice status and wealth. Your eyes are drawn to stories of celebrities and success, and you can hardly breathe you feel so far away from it all.

Fish-belly gray frames draw attention to your own guilt and shame. It’s your fault. What you did was unforgivable! You are destined to live under that shadow forever andyou can’t even the score. Every grain of misery is what you deserve. Inside the fishbelly gray frame, you are drawn to things that are twisted and yuck like a dog to its vomit.

I’m not a psychologist, but my hunch as an observer of human nature is that our default frame colour either comes from key childhood memoires, or as an inheritance from adults in our lives.

In my next post, I offer four alternative colours that can be used to reframe memories in a good way, that bring a sense of freedom and hope.