I picked my way through the Biblical book of Hosea, looking for answers on how to be a better husband, and this little series is coming to its resolution. Like a massive train under the compulsion of a small locomotive, things are shifting. The deep wound inside Hosea is being healed. “Love her!” God told him, so he went to find her and bring her home, and for the first time in his life, Hosea is behaving like a husband toward his wife. He is being reliable and consistent, patient and kind. He is setting the emotional tone of the home. He is breathing hope into his wife.

But as I studied the book of Hosea, I found the camera drifting from Hosea and settling on his wife, Gomer. What did it feel like for her, as the subject of Hosea’s patient, kind attention?

What does it feel like, being on the other end?

I found myself drawn to these lines, dissecting them for meaning:

Therefore I will be like pus to Ephraim
    and like rottenness to the house of Judah.
When Ephraim saw his sickness
    and Judah saw his wound,
then Ephraim went to Assyria,
    and sent to King Jareb.[b]
Yet he cannot cure you
    or heal your wound.
For I will be like a lion to Ephraim
    and like a young lion to the house of Judah.
I, Myself, will tear and go away.
    I will carry off, and no one will rescue.
I will again return to My place
    until they acknowledge their offense
and seek My face.
    In their affliction they will earnestly seek Me.

What does it feel like for Gomer, on the receiving end of Hosea’s love? It feels horrible!

When Ephraim saw his sickness…

Gomer catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror; the too-pale skin and the smudged mascara, and the large, angry boils. She hates looking at her reflection. She won’t even meet her own eyes. She is a vain woman, after all. Her success as a seductress was largely dependent on her beauty. And now this? How shaming! The boils are desperately painful to the touch. They make it hard to move, hard to eat, hard to sleep. They are a constant drain on her energy. (I assume that Hosea’s kindness and clean diet is releasing the toxins that have been stored up in her body after years of hard living)

But Gomer begins to be aware that there is a much deeper wound. It’s all confusing. There are patterns in her history. Time and again, she has thrown herself at men, telling herself, “This time it will work!” and “This man has exactly what I need,” but it always ended in heartache and despair, with her feeling used and wrung out.

I’ve been thinking about this long and hard: What causes some woman to chase after the “bad boys”? What is it about money, power, status, foreign accents that is so attractive? Here is my conclusion, for what it’s worth: This woman knows that she is missing something. She has a “wound”. She needs to be “cured.” Men with strength, skill, power, money, or who simply come from “the other side of the tracks” hold a promise. She sees a guitarist, wowing the crowd and she thinks, “His hands are skilled on the guitar; I bet he has the same skill in caring for my heart.” Or she meets a businessman who is confident and decisive in his business deals, and she thinks, “That’s what my heart needs, confidence and decision!” Or she meets a gangster, and she thinks, “The problem my heart is in is so complicated that it can only be healed by a man who knows how to smash the rules.” Charisma. Skill. Power. “If I am his,then I will know I am significant and important and worthy.”

But none of these men measured up. They all let her down. So she’s stuck with Hosea…

For I will be like a lion to Ephraim

And Hosea is just relentless. On and on, every day, he just won’t give up. He’s just there, all the time. She’s in pain, and he’s like a lion, with sharp teeth and sharp claws.

Don’t stop, Hosea! Speak to her heart! Be reliable as sunrise and as soothing as the rain. You’re getting through!

6:1-3 Come, let us return to the Lord,
for He has torn,
    and He will heal us.
He has struck,
    and He will bind us up.
After two days He will revive us.
    On the third day He will raise us up,
    that we may live before Him.
Let us know, let us press on to know the Lord.

It’s all his fault, of course. Hosea is to blame for his sharp teeth and claws that have torn at her flesh. He’s responsible for the violence she has experienced, she tells herself. He is the one who has done the hitting.

But here’s the thing: Even though her head tells her that everything about Hosea is awful and dangerous, that he is the one at fault in this relationship, she can’t help but be drawn to him. She has a sense that he is the one who can heal her, who can bring her back to life, lift her up.

I need healing and putting back together.

I thought I knew my husband, but I don’t know him at all.

It’s all his fault… everything is his fault…

But he is reliable and soothing.

So she begins to seek him out.

Next…(Part 7)